


Cool

by 5LeggedThing (Retroblaster)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Other, Pre-Canon, Pre-Sburb (Homestuck), Reader-Insert, Swearing, gender neutral reader, nerd facts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:28:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25798165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Retroblaster/pseuds/5LeggedThing
Summary: What kind of coloristhe  color Red?
Relationships: Dave Strider/Reader
Kudos: 47





	Cool

“Red isn’t a very cool color.” You stated out of the blue one day. Although your comment had been seemingly random Dave Strider had a sneaking suspicion of what you were talking about. Because of that he didn’t even bother to turn away from his latest Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff comic to look at you.

You frowned as you sit up from lounging on the blond’s bed. You were sure that would have gotten some kind of reaction out of him since you were basically insulting his favorite color and all. Normally you didn’t like to explain your insults you decided to make an exception this time. 

“You see, according to color theory--” Dave interrupted you by making an annoyed clicking noise with his tongue, but you ignore him and continued. “Red is an aggressive, a.k.a. a warm, color.” 

Your geeky statement seemed to finally get his attention as he turned around in his computer chair to give you a veiled look. “God Damn it (Last Name), what did I tell you about bring that nerdy shit all up in here. If you keep talking like that you’re going to start sounding like Lalonde, and that shit just ain’t cool.” 

You shrugged, not really caring that he just called you uncool (he did it at least 5 times a day so you were quite used to it) and continued on your nerdy tirade. “As you know— since you’re totes a real artist and not some bullshit fake ironic comic dipshit…” you waited for some sort of retort, but disappointedly none came. “…Purple is the coolest color, then blue. Green’s sorta a neutral so that leaves yellow, orange and red to be hot colors.” You state matter-of-factly, tenting your fingers in a short of “damn, I’m so cool for knowing this kind of stuff” manner. 

“You know what that means right?” you sent the red-eyed boy a mischievous grin as you waited for an answer. You were feeling pretty proud of yourself that you were about roll your fact-of-the-day and daily Strider insult into one package. 

But Dave doesn’t answer, he just pursed his lips in a manner which you took to mean: “I have no clue where you’re going with this, but I’m too cool to admit it, so I’ll just sit here all quite like and pretend that I’m being silently ironic—even though it’s stupid and I’m not fooling anyone because everyone knows I’m actually a huge spazz.” 

You went on: “That means, Mister Strider, that John has cooler eyes than you.” He didn’t superficially respond to your observation, which made you pout inwardly. Slowly a sly smirk spread across his pail face and you felt your stomach drop slightly. Oh dear lord-- what had you gotten yourself into? 

“Are you calling me hot (Last Name)?” Your eyes widened at the accusation. “No! You know that’s not what I meant!” Okay, you walked right into that one. 

“It’s alright to admit it. It’s only natural to dig a _hot_ motherfucker like me. You’re just gonna have to deal with your feeling.” and with that he turned back to his computer, luckily (for you) missing the sight of you opening and closing your mouth wordlessly several times like a fish that could talk but couldn’t think of anything witty to say to another talking douche-bag fish’s goading. 

Even though he had pretty much dismissed you by going back to his stupid conksucky comic, you refused to leave—that would mean you had admitted defeat, so instead you just sat on Dave’s bed fiddling silently with a smuppet and praying to Ironic Zombie Jesus that he didn’t turn around and look at you until your blush dispersed.


End file.
